so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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