I'm passing your future prison.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
