i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
