i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
