wrigley field is MILF paradise
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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