well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
