So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
