...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
