I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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