Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
