i think i have herpe
just one?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You pole danced in your parka.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
