Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
