I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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