i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
