Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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