PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
