Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
