If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
