ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
