i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
