honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
