So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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