Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
