What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
