don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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