6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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