I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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