Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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