i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...