you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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