you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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