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people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
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