4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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