You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm having to shit out rocks
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
