Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Fuck appropriateness.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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