You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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