I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
