Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
