A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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