It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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