What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
