I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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