I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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