I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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