I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
