Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
