Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
