people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
