Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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