It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
