she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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