ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
