But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
