sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
