So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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