If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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