I could have mohawked her pubes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize