she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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