my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
