Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
so much tequila, so little girl.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
