Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she peed on how many people?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
