I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
