How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
