we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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