Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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