Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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