She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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