HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
